Biscuithead’s Got a Gun

Well the Americans are taking over Camp Basrah and I had a run in with one of them, I had put it down a bad day on both our parts, but this week, my boss and another colleague had a run in with the same guy, I’m almost 99.9% sure, but will get confirmation at a later date.

So the story goes like this, it was Thursday evening the night before the weekend officially starts, well our one weekend day anyway, and one of my colleagues was out in the field and I was scheduled to pick him up.  He was late and I had Arabic that night at 6:30.   I left work at 4:45 p.m. to try and get in a work out.  I got to the gym and it was me on the ellipitcal and this other guy, one of the PSD guys on the treadmill.  I started working out and I heard a gross sound like someone farmer blowing, I looked over and the guy on the treadmill was blowing his nose into his hand, then he put the snot in his pocket.  I looked away, but then I heard it again, and again, and again.  I started gagging.  Then I heard him hock up a lugie and saw him spit it into his hand, then he deposited that into his shorts pocket.  I almost puked. I thought to myself this has got to me it, he can’t keep doing this, but he did and before I puked my guts up, preferably all over his gross, inconsiderate self, I abandoned my workout and ran out of the gym.  Unfortunately I forgot my phone.

I ran back in to get it and clueless, inconsiderate guy, said, “What’s your problem?”  I said,  “You are absolutely disgusting!” and left the gym.  So I didn’t get to work out.  My colleague was supposed to arrive at Delta gate at 6:00 p.m. dinner starts at 6:00 p.m.  and I had to be at Arabic at 6:30 p.m. so I e-mailed my carpool buddy to Arabic Jasper and told him I would be late and I went to Delta gate.  My colleague was late and the gate was closed so they were going around to Alpha gate, so I texted Jasper and told him I wouldn’t be going to Arabic.  Annoyance number 2.  I drove out to Alpha gate and waited about 10 minutes until my colleague came through at that point it was 6:30 a.m. and I was thinking if I hurried I could still make Arabic.  I got in the “civilian” lane behind a bus, we waited for about 10 minutesa and then the bus’s hazard lights went on, so my colleague and I assessed the situation and decided to try a different lane.

I pulled into the other lane and went up near the bus to execute my stop and the solider on the bus, was yelling at the top of his lungs, “Stop, tell her to stop!”  when I was in the middle of stopping.  He gets off the bus marches over and says, “We have a procedure here!”  “That’s fine,  I’m willing to follow procedure.”  He didn’t even let me finish, but said that I needed to wait in line behind the bus, when I tried to explain that we thought the bus was broken down, he wouldn’t even let me explain, but kept harping on how I needed to follow procedure. Finally fed up I said, “So arrest me.”  He admitted that he couldn’t, but then decided to prove his manhood by harassing me.  He made me and my colleague get out of the car, he then searched the car, he then made me pull the car over to the side and started examine my badge. He looked at my Mercy Corps badge and said it was expired.  I said it had nothing to do with him and he was violating my civil rights and I wanted to speak to his commanding officer.  His commanding officer came over and told him to let me go that I had the appropriate badge, and then Mr. Power Hungry lied to his commanding officer he told him that I had been speeding, there was no way my Kia SUV could have gotten up to speed in the 20 feet I had in the lane and it pissed me off. I said, “You are lying, why are you lying.”  But he persisted in his lie, my colleague backed me up, the sergeant finally threw up his hands, gave up and walked away.  Biscuithead then started to explain procedure to me and I said, “You are a liar and I don’t want to hear anything else you have to say! And I will see you in the Lieutenant’s office.  He then said, “Well I”m going to report it also.”  I said you go ahead and do that.  Then I asked him what his job is.  He didn’t answer.  I said again “What’s your job?” And then answered for him.  “To protect American citizens, and if this is you doing your job, you suck at it.”  He detained me for 45 minutes and then made me wait for a convoy.  I reported him to his superior officer and told him that it was partially my fault for mouthing off, but then when this week, my boss and a second colleague both whom are African came in and reported being harrassed at the gate I was sure it was the same biscuithead and sure enough when I went to pick up some of our national staff he was there at the Delta gate.

What happened with my boss, is that he walked in with an unlit cigarette in his mouth and the solider ordered him to take it out. He said no.  The solider then said this was a no smoking area and my boss replied, “I’m not smoking.”  Then my other colleague said, “I don’t see a no smoking sign.”  And the solider told him to “Shut his mouth!”  They almost came to blows before the other soliders stepped in.  I’m 99.9% positive it was Biscuithead, which means that he has power issues, because as my basketball coach used to say “Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern of behavior.”

It was just a really odd experience, because for the most part the American soliders have been very friendly and courteous.  But this interaction made me think, this is the type of guy that shoots first and ask questions later.  And I wonder is he understands that his lying about me speeding calls into question his integreity.  I hate liars, particularly when it’s to cover their own ass.  He knew he had no reason to detain me, but he wanted to prove he could so he invented a lie to make it all right.

I think one of the issues is that the American soliders over here are so young and they aren’t paid to think, only to follow orders, the Brits, were older and easier to deal with.  But that Biscuithead at the gate is scary and if he’s the one who also had the run in with my boss and colleague it makes me think that he picks his victims carefully, I’m a women, they are black.  It’s disconcerting.

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